College: Your First Business
“I have a check for you for $500,000,” I unexpectedly found myself saying to a high school senior recently. That conversation spooled into a whole new perspective on introducing kids to college — one that I think will truly pay strong dividend$ in a time when every college dollar needs to count.
“To receive this check, your job is to earn a bachelor’s degree with a 3.5 GPA,” I went on to explain. “Knowing that this check is waiting for you, how would you go about accomplishing this so that you get to claim it?”
Silence. And then, finally, “I guess I’d work harder.”
“Work harder… hmmmm. What does that actually mean?” I asked.
“Well, you know, work harder.”
As the conversation went on, it dawned on her that the source of the cool half million would be her own income, if she planned her college education as a business venture. We talked about how 
to get the most for her money, where she could save, how to seek out support; we strategized about what classes to take, approaching the act of learning as a “job” responsibility in the business of attending college; and how to zoom in to find a major she’d love that would lead to a career she would also love — one that could make her a good living in today’s world.
We went on to talk about adopting a project management approach to knocking out college courses.
One thing I’ve noticed with genuine alarm is the use of technology by high schools and colleges to keep track of students’ assignments for them. With no record-keeping on their own part, a couple of clicks let’s them see what’s due.
I think this is a case of the pendulum swinging too far. Historically, writing down assignments, mapping out and completing them, keeping track of grades and turning things in on time was the responsibility of the student.
Read MoreAsk for what you want!
If you’re wondering why you just don’t seem to get what you want — whether it’s at home with your family, as a student or in your career — it might very well be because you don’t feel you can ask for it. That’s not weakness; it’s socialization. If you understand this, you can begin to change your beliefs about asking — with the result that you’ll feel happier, less depressed, and more satisfied with life, relationships, school and work. Feeling entitled to ask for what you want is not a small thing. This post is intended to help you move in that direction.
I was talking my friend Dr. Meyer, a scientist with a long and successful career (and my professorial consultant for www.mycoachfran.com). As a child, Dr. Meyer had decided that he was not going to live in poverty, and from the moment of that decision, he actively worked to create the life he wanted for himself. In the process of describing that path to me, he talked about writing a paper when he was nineteen on a certain topic related to DNA. He began to be very interested in a very specific research question. Here’s what then happened:
1. He decided that he wanted to be involved in the research.
2. He asked his instructors who in the United States was doing the research.
3. They told him.
4. He contacted those people and let them know he wanted to work with them.
Ralph glossed over this story because it wasn’t really what he wanted to talk about; he had another point he was trying to make. But I stopped him cold.
“What made you think anyone would care that you wanted to work on this? As a student it never would have occurred to me that anyone would care,” I said, a little incredulous at the perceived audacity of a kid who approaches the big guys in his field and says that he wants in.
“It never occurred to me that they wouldn’t,” he said, looking confused, as though I had asked him to explain something that was self evident.
I explained to him that he had just encapsulated the difference between his upbringing as a boy and mine as a girl.
Read MoreGrades Don’t Buy Happiness
Young women hold in their hands literally a world of colorful possibilities, perhaps unprecedented, for exciting, one-of-a-kind lives.
But how many of your friends do you see moving in that direction? How about you? Why do we throw away the opportunity for remarkable lives?
There are lots of reasons to choose to play it safe – to choose to be a zoo assistant instead of an oceanographer, a day care teacher instead of a psychologist, a follower instead of a leader. Part of it is the subtle message, conveyed more to girls than to boys, not to dream too big.
But I find with many women that another huge part of it is that we’re not taught how to take on and walk through tough challenges. Couple that with the clamor for a 4.0, and you’ll witness stretch goals being replaced with sure things.
It used to be that the pressure for grades began at age six. That was the point at which the educational system warped children’s natural curiosity,
Read MoreStill Homesick? Don’t Panic!
Being homesick hurts. Moving away from home means that everything is strange — from your bed to the food — not to mention the whole dorm thing. If you’re still slogging through homesickness, you might be having trouble getting up and facing the day. It’s hard to feel joyful when you feel more like you’re grieving. But you can feel better, I promise you, and here’s some help.
Actually, the title of this post is a play on words, because homesickness really is a form of panic. Understanding what it is will help you see how to help yourself through it.
Read MoreProfessors Are Human, Too!
There’s something about the title — “professor” — that can make you feel that your instructors are unapproachable. I want to talk about that for a few moments with you, because you have an opportunity in college that you may never have again. That is, right now, you’ve got the chance to talk with and learn from men and women who have dedicated their lives to gaining wisdom in fields of study in which you yourself may want to excel. Realizing that your professors are people first can free you up to take full advantage of having them close at hand.
Teaching and learning, at their best, involve a relationship between instructor and student
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